I promised myself I would never write a blog entry like this one (I actually didn't, but it makes for a decent opener). I have been thinking about starting a project like this for years, and now I'm sitting on my couch eating cookies doing my best to channel the inner Carrie Bradshaw we all have within us.
For so long I've wrestled with the idea of starting this, but I can't really explain what this is. It's not a website, or a blog, or anything I can put my finger on; it's more of a feeling that I have had deep within me. I guess the best way to describe it would be a desire, and I'm finally choosing to meet that desire. I've spent the last couple of weeks, really couple of years meditating on this desire. It's to create, which, honestly, I hate saying. I already graduated from film school so my instagram bio can no longer be, "I am a creator" because let's face it, we have to let our inner fourteen year old self go eventually (Carrie would be proud of that one).
I really do want to make things though. I want to collaborate with more people, and experience authenticity deeper than four sitcom episodes on a Saturday night. I want to wake up and be challenged every moment to push myself, not follow some ridged guidelines as to who I am that nobody assigned to me but myself. Sometimes breakfast is my proudest accomplishment in a twenty-four hour period, and even though I make pretty delectable breakfast burritos, I think it leaves room for a lot of wasted potential in my life.
I want to rule my own life. I want to rule myself in the ways that I have dreamed of for years. I have followed, watched, indulged in so many countless talented creators - even made friends with a few along the way - and they inspire me endlessly, but I've spent far to many years wondering how I could get what they had instead living the life I wanted. I've spent years packing my bags and yet religiously avoided even buying a plane ticket. I recently wrote about this while on a mountain peak.
This is my tabula rasa, and this is my manifesto.
The Rules of Ruling:
1. Construct an enormous respect for time.
I have recently begun to understand how much value every day has. It's not that I've never cherished moments or missed days, but I've wasted so many of them. I see now that even the best days I have not taken full advantage of. I want to continue to understand how important my time is, how much potential every single day has, and choose the best ways to utilize it.
2. Let go of the need to "relax" away your life.
Sometimes I look back on a week and realize that all I have done was work, eat, watch TV, and sleep. I really, really have adopted an obsessive desire to devote extended periods of time every single day just to sit. It's become difficult for me to be productive even on days when I have hours dedicated for necessary accomplishments. Let go of it. Every moment is an opportunity to start moving forward again. Work hard, so you can finish and move on to the next adventure.
3. Write down all of your ideas and treat them like a never ending to-do list.
I don't care if it's a journal, a dry erase board, a never ending note on your phone - just write things down. Don't ever let the excitement of inspiration dwindle without putting the world on hold and dedicating a little thought to your idea. I have lost so many moments of inspiration by simply letting them go. I think those ideas that breathe new life into us are one of the most important parts of our journey. Every thought could be your greatest; give space to those ideas and let them grow. Give them time, revisit them, but don't ever fully step away.
Pictures of mountains, an empty museum, a magazine, a helicopter ride, collaboration with the best people you know. Just do it. Stop preparing for it, thinking about it, wishing you had it. Rule it.
This is the start of a new way of living. It's scary, but exhilarating.
P.S. I've never seen an episode of Sex in the City.